Dream #18

Ever have one of those nights where dreaming and reality kinda blur together? And even though it should make absolutely no sense, everything just seems to gel together nicely.
At some point before I was going to bed, I had thought I wanted a wooden clock radio...much like the one pictured. Nice and clean lines with light up tube for the time instead of the red LED/LCD/ugly as shit light thing that drives me so insane. I headed off to sleep, but wasn't sure if I really did this when i was awake or not.
I set my alarm clock to wake me up for 5am for work. Then I set the wooden alarm clock for a half hour later. Then decided to go to bed.
When my alarm went off, I hit snooze on it, then the alarm on my wooden clock went off....I hit the snooze on it as well. This went on for about an hour. Finally a I got up, marvelled at my wooden radio alarm clock and headed off to get a shower. On my return from the shower, I was slightly shocked to see that my shitty plastic alarm clock was the only one there. Like a lover suddenly missing, I felt such a tremendous sense of loss and betrayal.
This clock is on my wish list.....I've dreamed it so. If you love me, you'll return it back to me...though I never really owned it.....whatever.....buy it for me.

Trials and Wash Cycles

If you are anyone like me, you hate doing laundry to a point that almost defies convention. I would rather clean my bathroom with my own toothbrush in the dark than do even a single load of laundry.

This ends up with me having about 8-10 loads of laundry to do when I finally either A) get the nerve to get the task done or B) actually have time from an 80 hour work week to attempt such a task.

Yes, I know, if i just inched away at it day by day it wouldn't be near as daunting or overwhelming. But like I said.....80 hours away from home each week leaves me very little time to get anything done. Furthermore, when I return home the last thing I want to tackle is another chore.

So here's what really burns me and gets me irked enough to try to scream it all out on a blog or any other venue that I can find. LAUNDROMATS close at the earliest hours!! I just called about 6 of them in my side of the city and 3 were closed at 7pm, 2 more were closed at 8pm and one is open until 9pm. So, if you get home at 6pm from a 14 hour day at work, good luck getting anything done.

Oh, and by the way, I just got back from the one that closes at 9pm....I was about 7 people back from the next machine. Seems everyone in the city is as bad with laundry as I am. Not to mention that 1/3 of the machines are broken/in need of service.

In my building, there are 2 machines to wash and 2 to dry with. One of each is out of service, I have however managed to finagle my way into using one of them. I'm on my way to go get my 2 days worth of clothes dried and ponder how I'm going to get the other 2 weeks worth done.

Tired and beaten

As the date of this post suggests, I've been more busy than usual as of late. Last week alonme I logged in over 70 hours at work and took very little time to rest and rejuvenate.
On top of the work I've been doing (my job), I've also been taking the time to help out with the decorating of the lobby at the hospital. It seemed simple at first untill I remembered just how big the lobby actually is. Enter the feeling of 'Daunting", but I'll persevere.
I've got a few other projects on the go right now, but I intend to finish them or at least get a go on them tonight.
Right now, that pic is me trying to relax. Fucking Classy eh?

Who's out there?

I was curious today about who all actually reads this. I know I've done sweet f*ck all to promote it, except to a few friends, and was curious who all actually reads it.
As the author of it, I'd like to ask you the reader to just say either a 'Hey!" or to provide more input to me with a quick situational thing.
This Saturday, I'm working an 18.5 hour shift in a small booth. The booth will provide me with full cable , but TV gets boring after so many hours. Here's the input aspect: I'm a crafty sorta guy, what would you like to see me make in this 18.5 hour span?

Posting a good day

Today was one of those weird days that we all have. It started off good, went bad, then horribly wrong, then settled out to even in the end.
I decided to go and get some supplies to make yet another Christmas ornament (http://www.instructables.com/id/no_melt_Sparkleball/) for the lobby of the hospital that I work at, so off to the Dollar Store I go.
On my way there, I decide to treat myself to an eggnog latte at a coffee shop that I used to work at. It's considered a treat because it breaks the $5 line for something I can normally make at home for less than a buck.
After getting it, I remember it's too hot to drink right away, so I save it for browsing whilst shopping. 2 minutes into the store I see an old friend and give her a big hug. This is when it starts to get kinda shitty. She accidentally bumps my arm on the 'hug release' and my coffee, without Sip 1 taken from it, falls to the floor in the store. Big Mess.
I'm a patient and understanding sort of fellow. She apologized profusely and offered to buy me another coffee to replace it, but let's just say she was out on 'business' and calling her on the new coffee would interupt her transactional process. I let it go and convinced her it was indeed no problem, and she could get me another time.
At this point I found an employee of the store and informed her that I had dropped my coffee, was very sorry for making a mess and that I would be more than willing to help her clean up the mess.
I forgot how snarly and horrible retail can turn a person. This girl just about ripped my head off and all but told me to get out of the store for making her clean up the mess. I stood close to the spill to alert other customers about it and directed the traffic around it. When she arrived brandishing a mop, I quickly moved out of the way of her work and stare. Rarely do I ever say these things, but WHAT A BITCH!
After I picked up my supplies, i headed back to the coffee shop to pick up another. they were surprised to see me again so quickly and assumed I had loved the last coffee so much that I had gulped it back and needed another one. It wasn't until after I had received it that they heard my story and were taken aback by it, and then told me had they have known, I wouldn't have had to pay for the replacement.
So, some marbles in one basket, and some in the other, life balances out in the end. The treat was well earned, but $10 more than I had planned to use for myself today. *sigh*

dream #17

Although this isn't technically the 17th dream I remember, it's the 17th one entered.
Last night/this afternoon I dreamed I was a member of the Republic Army in Star Wars......just another clone.
We did formations and drills over and over again. I was somewhere towards the back of my unit and basically just saw the backs of heads for an hour long dream.
Then we had a break and as we all took our helmets off, I saw rows and rows of clones of myself. Each one was slightly different than the next. Facial piercings, tattoos, missing teeth and scars. As I scanned the crowd it seemed that each clone of me was what I may have looked like or how I would have changed my appearance if I had chosen the 'other' in the choice in my life. Had I have not checked for traffic that one day, had that urge to pierce my nose been stronger that week, had I have no jumped back from the fire that one time and walked away with only a singed eyebrow.

Woven Fused Plastic

I'm sure that somewhere along the lines of this blog I mentioned fusing plastic shopping bags.
Why? This has a nice colour, that one has a neat texture, the logo on that would look great with this and taht and that and etc, etc, etc. You never seem to have enough when you get into it. I went through 60 shopping bags in less than an hour and still felt like I could have fused more.
Let me tell you, it can become something of an addiction. Everything that's wrapped in plastic you kinda keep and squirrel away to be used in the next fusing.

Well, here's the results of one thing i made. I took some old pieces that were too short to do anything with, cut them into strips, wove them together, then fused them again.
The final material is bendable, sturdy, but not so watertight. It was something of a playful job, no intent of purpose other than experimenting.
I'll be finishing off my supplies today to try to re-make this, only stronger and better.....and because i'm tripping over my supplies as it is.

Quilt...how gay

Here's the quilt so far. The image makes it look like nothing is anywhere never being aligned, but trust me, everything is fine. Except my floor may need a good vacuuming. I have just one more row to do.
It's made from all of my old t-shirts that were destined to go in the garbage because they were too stretched, stained, burned or just plain wore out. Instead of doing the landfill thing, I found an idea online of making them into a quilt/blanket. That way I'll kinda still have them around.

Rememberance Day...I remember my blog

The last few weeks have been very involving and crazy and haven't really even had time to myself, however, I'm here to update and load this thing up chocked full of modernity and current information.
I'll just start with some Halloween pics.

This year for Halloween, I went out as a mad scientist. Usually, I choose a costume that has a lot more imagination and definately as far away from cliche costumes as I can get. This costume was differant in that I sewed the whole thing by myself.
You have to understand, that 3 months ago, I couldn't sew a stitch and decided that wasn't acceptable. especially since I design costumes and props, stage sets, etc. This was a skill that I was seriously lacking and decided to do something about it.
This costume was my first attempt at few-on sewing and it turned out very well...especially for not having a pattern. I used a rough idea of a pattern from pictures and a small tutorial I found online. (http://www.flickr.com/photos/mei_li/2855270742/in/set-72157607277942905/)
I made the goggles out of some TP tubes and some curved plastic packaging I found at 2am one night after a bad dream and needed to burn off the energy. Took me about an hour and a half.

Quick dream explanation: I dreamt that my father moved in with me, and was sleeping on a bed in the living room of this REALLY wicked apartment I had just moved into. On our way out of the house some guys started to come at me and dad and accused my father of killing some woman. He said he was just having loud sex...ahem....yeah, really odd dream....and then for some reason, I threatened the guy by offering to rip out his throat...see why I woke up with nervous energy?
More to come in the next little while.

50 km later

So, it's the week after my first day of my new position as Site Supervisor at my new job. The walk is about 7.6 km, and I've walked home every day. At first it was just to see, but now it's become something of a ritual, a time for me to just walk and clear my head of all the days events.

The job is actually great. I've been training non-stop and feel I'm really going to like it there.

It's like a whole lot of little things in my life are slowly coming together.

I'm eating healthier, making new friends, being more social, being more active, constantly making or creating, always researching new ideas and I inquired about the on-site staff gym (which I'll be joining on Thursday).

Just keeping the momentum up, and seeing where it takes me.

IV Pole

These are images of me carrying an IV pole over 7km home from work, and a couple pics of it by itself.
This will be a lamp in the next week.

dream #16

Last night I walked 7km around 8pm at night. I was trying to see how long it would take me to get to the Dartmouth General Hospital from my place. I was approached by my boss at work about a new position over there, and well I was just curious.

Perhaps walking there was a bit more ambitious than I had prepared for. About 5 minutes in, I felt pains in my stomach, but continued anyway. Long story short, I can home and sat down and then proceeded to be sick for about an hour and a half, having broken sleep. My dreams were scattered and fractal...again.

I dreamed I was in some sort of office. I've never been there before, but all the papers and magazines were haphazardly placed and stacked...some sort of purposeful chaos that I appreciate but am still fearful of touching. I was wearing some kind of winter get-up....a HEAVY dark blue nylon jacket and a clipboard.

That scene was broken by a quick run to the bathroom....ew.

When I got back to dream world, I was on a beach, shedding the jacket. It was an orange sky kind of place, with purple clouds and white sand. I just kind of sat there and let the sounds of the beach calm me. I knew that in real life I was sick, and this was a place that I could go to rest and feel better.

I woke up feeling fine, but my stomach is still tight. I hope this isn't the flu that everyone seems to be catching cause it's a nasty little thing, all 36 hours of it.

Completed Light box

Here is a Light box I made from an old scanner and a small bulb and a lot of hacking with the wrong tools.
The first view of the box is with a white garbage bag for diffusing light.

The second shot (side view) shows that I gnawed the side for an extra plug.

Third shot is of the envelope I made from fused plastic bags so that the glass wouldn't get scratched.

Fourth is shot of the light box peeking out.

Fifth is just a shot of the box with single light installed.....it's pretty bright, but the image doesn't show how well it's spread out.

Completed Projects

This is a collection of pics from a completed project.
These are images of a crown ad sceptre made out of bent together beer caps and a bit of glue here and there.
It's all for a fundraiser held at Blue Moon on the 24 th of this month for CKDU 88.1 FM and for ISCANS. The jewels will go to the Skag Drag winner, contestants being the performers of the night.
The next part to finish is the Sash, which will be made from Fused NSLC bags....more to come.

Colour Test

I won't tell you my score, but it is TOWARDS the lower end of the game.

On the plus side, it shows you where your spectrum is lacking down to the spectral frequency.


dream # 15

Last night's dream was a lovely mix of Dahli imagery and The Terminator computer dissection.
When I went to sleep, I had a few things on my mind....such as little things I've been putting off making and such. When I started to dream, these little things came to the front and center of the stage.
Quickly and methodically, I broke all the items down to their simpler parts, and looked at them spinning in some kind of 3D display, floating in mid air. Then as I concentrated more on them, they would split up into smaller pieces, and measurements would appear on them like translucent chalk lines.
Where the materials could be found would flash by as I concentrated on any element. A quick flash of motion of the retrieval of materials.....me going down the hallways, opening the closet and grabbing the material from "he upper box underneath the Christmas Lights with the picture of the teapot on the front of it and a dent in the bottom left corner". Very vivid and concise.
So vivid actually, that I've already begun sketching out all the projects and realize that my sub-consious is off by about an inch either way in everything.

dream #14

Well, I should preface this by knowing that I lost something important to me last night, or rather, last night discovered that it was no longer in my possession.
My first Server book.....as useless and boring as it seems, it's always had a special place with me. It's the server book I used while I was at Disney World, so there's a lot of memories attached to it and I've often just simply picked it up and been brought back to a better time and place. In looking for it, I had to go through hundreds of pictures and boxes of memories. I had to keep the search process short otherwise, I'd get lost in them all.
Anyways, my dream last night..
I was at some sort of late Fall picnic, surrounded by old friends and colleagues. It was a night time event...orange tents draped from the trees,ornaments celebrating Fall everywhere, kids playing in the leaves in the background. Everyone seemed happy to just be out of the house and around others who they cared about.
As I waded through the crowd of smiling people, I heard my voice from behind.
He was wearing a Dark Tweed jacket and open button up shirt, jeans I think. And he hands me an old near empty prescription bottle.
"I've been meaning to call you and get this back to you. You forgot this at the house one of the nights you stayed over."
It was a tall medical prescription bottle, clear plastic with a white safety seal & twist cover. In the bottom of the bottle were three partial light blue capsules. The prescription on the side of the bottle had my name, my old address from 5 years ago and the the name of the drug written: Promethean:100mg. (I'm guessing some connection to Prometheus, the guy who pissed off the Gods by bringing a Zippo to mankind)
I thanked the guy who seemed unfamiliar, but was happy to see me anyways, and decided to open the bottle and take one. As I opened the bottle and looked inside, someone was bumped and spilled their drink in my bottle.
They apologized and kept on their way, offering to buy me a drink to make up for it. I accepted and looked at the capsules, flowing and bobbing up and down on their own accord, unaffected by the currents of the liquid.
Deciding that since there was no *insert the name of the book that is used to standardize psychological disorders or prescription drug interactions...i forget which...* handy, I tipped back the bottle and let the pills go down my throat with a rumble and a sense of light swimming in my head.

woke up there....

something random

Ryvainka Steele......a huge fan of hers.

why technology is cool

Esquire Mag Cover

this is sweet...just had to throw it out there....my mind is racing now for other applications.

about dream sequence

Alright, so I just posted the last dream I had and named it Dream #13....yeah, I'm just dripping with imagination sometimes, eh?
Just thought I'd throw this in to give my Blog some level of authenticity.
I dream every night... vividly...well, with the exception of those 3 weeks on backshift....my circadian rhythm was a little messed up and my dreams were fractured impressions at best.
The only way I have to organize my dreams and posts was to publish them on here in an ordered sequence...though between dream 8 and 10, I had about a dozen dreams, I was unable to reach the blog in time, nor was a I able to write anything of them down...and then they blurred together. If I'm posting my dreams on here, I'll have nothing less than full accuracy and purity of THAT dream.
Regardless, barring my getting up late for work or whatever, I'll have something more concrete and more of the style that I want.
Earlier this week, I re-arranged my room and things to make a more functional space for me to live/work in. Overtime, I've collected little things/furniture that are kind of task-specific and/or organizational. I finally bit the bullet and took a full day without sleep to set it all up. I no longer have a bed room....I have a workshop with a bed in it. And as such, I've arranged a side table beside my bed so I can write down what can be remembered on those days that I know I can't get to a computer.
Alright.....back to work.....Since organizing, I've had a week of constructing, and it's gotten a little less than organized, but overall just needs a tidy up.

yeah, late again...

You know, I really do enjoy this blog.....even though I think maybe 3 people actually know of it's existence. By they way people who read this, tell someone else about it....just for fun....nothing against you guys, but c'mon, I could tell you guys all about this on MSN or something.
Anyways, from my last post, I was taking my bike down to check on repairs and costs and crap. I fucked up the gearbox thing on the back of the bike and bent the rim badly.....$40 for new wheel, $15 for new gear box.....bent the frame, that's another $25, check the lines and tensions on gear shifts/brakes....$10......so $90 to get my bike repaired, or $100 to get a new one from him. I decided to donate it to the shop for their cheap bikes for underprivileged kids. This is them --- http://www.idealbikes.ca/

dream #13

I was playing this weird racing game at the shitty arcade kinda place. It was an experimental prototype kinda ride. It was an inclined set of narrow stairs with a large monitor at the top.It was also in the shape of an elephant. like from that candy corn popcorn that you pick up for Halloween....it's pink.....and instead of holding onto the railing, you held onto this kinda Pantyhose like material. The game supervisor stood at the top and refereed the game experience, and would occasionally toss a slip of paper over his shoulder and whoever grabbed it won the money that was listed on it. It made no sense cause there were racing cars and such on the screen that represented each player, and for a while, i remember trying to 'control' my car, and racing it, but i have no controller....just a focused mind.
At the end of the game, where I tied for 2ND, I was handed a note written with a dull HB pencil and on a ripped out sheet of paper from a writing tablet.
"As in life, you kept blocking others. Stayed in fourth place, but won only due to furious driving and aggressive tactics. In future, do yourself a favour and pull a 'CRIT' and go to the pit to repair your car to get the necessary speed to race.
The armour for Lord of the Rings is missing interfacing between the inside layers .Also, the caps and scales on the armours have traditionally been black."
After the game, everyone seemed happy and felt like they were part of something great.
Until we had to go outside to go back to our car.
Did I forget to mention that there were zombies all over the world attacking and eating the living?....yeah, there were Zombies...and the world was lit in something like 'Diary of the Dead" style.

somewhat back to life

Well, the backshifts are finally finished.......for now.

After 3 weeks of consecutive backshifts, I'm back to work on afternoon shifts.

The change over has been easier than I thought it would be. The trick? After I finished work the other day at 8:30am, I stayed up untill about 7pm and grabbed a quick nap. The got back up around 3am in a small sense of panic thinking I was late for work, then realizing....no....you're just a fool. Back to bed and then up this morning at 10:30am. Went and grabbed a coffee and just enjoyed the world around me waking up.

Now, I'm getting ready to walk down to my old site and get my bike that I trashed on my break about a month ago. Driving in the dark, downhill, bad brakes and a pothole that could swallow a raccoon together made a bent wheel and twisted work.
**The image above is NOT my bike, just a stock image I found that looks almost exactly like my back wheel**
The basic plan is to see what it will cost to get it fixed, but if it's going to cost too much, I think I'll just donate the bike to the shop so they can cannibalize it and re-use what they can. They have a program set up where they do this and put together cheap bikes for kids without the means to get their own. They also offer an incentive of in-store credit to all who participate.
To be honest, this is more like what I'm going to end up doing. I have a friend who has a bike he's willing to part with, provided it goes to a good home. It's a mountain bike, but he's looking for a city/street bike. I think this will make a good trade.
Well, I'll let you all know how it all turns out. the only thing I hate about all of this is that since the wheel is SO twisted, I'll have to carry the bike up to the shop through downtown......if you know Halifax at all, it's Canada's equivalent to San Francisco in geography....nothing but 30 degree inclined hills.

just a little energy thing

Found this in one of my news feeds. Thought I'd post this for anyone who was interested in cutting their power bill by even just a little bit.

life and the search of it

So, I have my vacation lined up and ready to go. However, the time I was supposed to have off in the meantime has been....well, denied.

One of the guys I work with is an absolute Star....I mean it, he's top notch. He's my straight boyfriend. He leaves me movies and snacks cause I usually show up early and do little favours for him. He works more than I do and I understand his work/school needs.

Well, I did a few favours for him and he was all lined up to pay me back (such as working a backshift for me for the hours I covered). However, due to fuck ups and people getting sick/on vacation/being weak willed humans, he's not been able to reciprocate or help me out.

This is kinda shitty. It leaves me little time to rest or recreation and my social life has been challenged like never before these last few weeks.

Is it sad that most of my life now revolves around waiting with great anticipation for Law and Order on Bravo?...............

dream 12

Ever have an animated dream? Like, a seriously Stylized and perfectly choreographed, scened and cinematographic masterpiece that just made you 2 inches shy of a wet dream?
Honestly, I don't care if you ever have. Cause I did. And to be honest, with my pagan approach to the spiritual and the divine, and my Mormon upbringing and it's connection to dreams, I have never before felt such a presence of God so strongly. It was like brainstorming with the big guy Himself.
This is a project, a vision, a karma.
Not to mention, absolutely the corniest yet most expressively accurate animation for my life and friends.
Ever heard the song 'Convoy', Paul Brandt's version/cover? Yeah, I know, it's redneck, but redneck has always spoke to me.......it reminds me of rural honesty and honour.
The cartoon I dreamed/experienced was me and the College of Monarchs driving trucks to the song. Each Reign had their own vehicle in descending order of lead in the convoy.
I'll post more later, I just had to get this out and posted before I got distracted from it.....I've not felt this intoxication of creativity in so long.

dream 11

Let's just prefix this blog to acknowledge that during this time I have been on Back shift and have had irregular, if any, sleep patterns.

This particular dream came during my esophagus/stomach attack.....and not like some kind of guerrilla warfare attack, more of me mistaking medication and damn near going to the hospital mid-shift to be dealt with. However, I knew they'd just sit me in a corner and tell me to relax and then discharge me....might as well make money at work and do the same thing, right.

I got home from work after walking about 1 1/2 hours. The walk normally takes me TOPS 20 minutes. The pain was unreal, and discomfort wasn't even on the radar anymore.

When I got to sleep, I started to dream almost immediately. I fell into a frothing pile of people....regular normal everyday people. They kept rising and falling like bubbles in a pot of boiling water, but in a much slower fashion.

As I was in that group, they all needed to interact with me.....they all needed to tell me about their day, and what's wrong with he world and why they're upset/happy/concerned/distraught/content/fulfilled.....any variation of human experience.

Just as soon as one would be almost finished of telling me their story, despite the concentration needed to even accomplish such a task, the would move away and be carried away by the still bubbling crowd.

The one thing that i remember from the whole group is the absence of colour. There were no shocks, highlights and really any dark tones to note. Everyone seemed to be wearing variations the same colours. White, black, tan and neutral beige. Everyone had variations of brown hair. All skin tones were within a small range, but all races were there.

It was very disturbing. As each person was pushed away, so was I, and then pushed into a new group of people and new stories/complaints. Throughout the night I was woken up countless times writhing in pain and discomfort.

When I woke up the next night for work, I was exhausted. This dream was the first time in a long time to actually continue for 4 nights in a row. It's been no less than 10 years since the last time I've experienced anything like this.

wow....time away

So, I've spent the last 2 bloody weeks working at Purdy's Wharf on backshift with no laptop to keep updated on this blog. Also, I've been sick and damn near dead, so I'm allowed some variance on attendance I think.
2 weeks of backshift should be punishment for murder I think. The social stigma (My god, you must be tired) gets to you after a while. I work different hours than you.....my clock is on the opposite side of yours.....yes, if I had your clock, I'd be fucking tired...but after say DAY 2, I adjusted because I am competent and capable of such changes.
The real problem with backshift for so long is that it puts you so far away from the rest of the world. Really, it does. I see my friends on the way to work at the pub....they're half in the bag and not at the level I can talk to.....barring me finding a designated driver that is. These shifts have stolen me from my social circles, my life and in some way from the summer due to the fact that my own rhythm requires me to sleep longer to stay awake for these shifts.
Regardless, they're all over now and I'm off for the next 2 days.....well, then back for a few more backshifts....then vacation with any luck...HA HA FUCKING HA!
Just so anyone who reads this knows........regardless of my schedule for work, I'm taking it.....
And why? Because I've reached a point of breaking that Minimum Wage was never allowed to make me do.....Expect new life after these posts my friends.....or whoever actually even reads this besides me....

dream 10

Gas masks, purple mist, brown adobe buildings in Edwardian architecture crumbling around me.

Some got under my mask and it smelled sweet and nutty.....like the smell of bark and rotting birch on a wet day. Then it stung and I felt my lips go numb. I couldn't talk.

Orange sky filled with planes and smoke.

I could hear screams, but didn't see anyone around me.

I jumped into a shelter, closed the door and sat in the dark still wearing my mask.

dream 10

Heaven, parking lot of Highland Square Mall, homeless vietnam vets

dream 9

I was playing hockey with 3 friends at the old rink back home in New Glasgow.

I never got to see their faces, but I knew that I could trust them.

After the game, we all went our seperate ways. I was going for coffee, so I opened the door to the parking lot and stepped out onto Spring Garden Road in Halifax.

Grabbed a coffee from a coffee shop that was doen over in Geiger's Style. The cappucino machine looked like some kind of spine-meets-italian plumbing get up done in silver with open flame lighting all over the place.

For some reason I was in a rush to get somewhere. But not one of those "Shit I'm gonna be late!" kinda rushes. More like "Running on schedule, keep the energy going kiddo" kinda rush.

I jet across the street to my meeting.....and that's about the end of it.

dream 8

So me and a lady bug friend were using slings to throw marshmellows at the sun.

They never quite made it, but we laughed anyways.

Then we had a picnic in the colouring book world and made our food funny colours.

Yeah, that was it.

Who says joy has to be complex?

dream 7

So, last night's dream was far from enjoyable. Which makes no sense because the day I had before I went to sleep was easily one of the best days I've had in a very long time. >thanks to all my girls<

I awoke in my dream on the floor of some large room, very 'SAW' looking kinda room. There was a girl there that I have never seen before, urging me to get up on my feet. We had to go, we had to get moving.

She was about 5'6", with dark curly hair, soft skin and big blue eyes. She wore some kind of coursette-action hero body armour with matching block heel boots. Then I noticed what I had on.

Looks like another hero dream. Black poly-vinyl-leather material body armour with large gloves suitable for smashing things, with brass covered wires connected to my back,and pieces of metal over the entire suit.

This is about the part that she started screaming at me again.....loudly. So, I started breaking down the wall and getting away from 'something'.

Again and again, wall after wall, through room after room, I kept breaking through. No two walls were the same.

Each room was differant as well. After the dungeon room, we were in an abandoned surgical bay, then a storage room, etc..

Ordinarily, this kind of dream would blend off into distant memory, but this dream kept going in vivid detail.

I woke up exhausted and in physical pain. I'll blame the dream for my soreness, not the fact I played baseball yesterday after a long refrain from physical activity.


Street Art to me

In my perfect world, street art would have this sense to it.

Although, I can't think of many places that have this level of cleanliness in my own city that aren't bordered with million dollar condos.....

Rethinking this spac

Alright, not that I had a solid agenda when I started this blog, but I feel that i have somehow strayed from my original intentions.

I wanted to use this as a source of journaling, of expression and to show you (whoever the hell you are) and remind myself of the influences in my life. Whether they be from dreams, day to day interactions, or inspirations I find on the net.

Not that a format change is necessary, but perhaps a variation from my usual format.

I love the whole world

I dunno....just always liked this one.....plus Hawking has a cameo....and he seems to be a theme for me.

dream 6

This dream made little to no sense for me, and unlike previous dreams I've had, I had little to no control over my actions and movements. That fact alone made the experience quite uncomfortable and distressing.

I was in a warehouse that was in dire need of repair. Rusted holes in the roof and support beams that were splintered and twisted. There were pieces of old farm equipment (like the steam powered kind from the late 1800's to the early 1900's...you know, with the metal wheels and such).

As I looked around the space, I realized how dangerous it was there. The creaking and moaning was louder than it should have been for the light breeze blowing through it. As I tried to move, my feet would not respond. When I looked down at them, they were fused into the floor and had seemed to grow some kind of root structure like a tree into the cement.

The breeze grew a bit stronger and I felt the presence of a crowd grow around me. The dust blew up in dark grey clouds which formed rough human shapes. Some had discernible faces, others had only hands or limbs that I could make out.

They swooped towards me, and through me, chilling me as they passed. They screamed random phrases in voices of pain and torment.

Couldn't run, couldn't scream, couldn't understand them.

Finally they returned to dust, and settled back on the ground. But as they all became piles on the floor, the floor itself turned into the same black dust and began to break apart into tiny particles. My feet were no free from their cement prison as the cement no longer existed. Soon, I was caught up in a swirl of spinning dust, the roof starting to fly apart and the beams croaking and screaming one last time, joining the chorus of whining wind, tortured voices and and screeching metal.

When I thought I could take no more, I let out a scream that seemed to stop the chaos in a super slow animation. With a loud clap that sounded similar to the sound and thump of jumping into cold ocean and your ear hits the water flat, the dust came rushing towards me solidifying around me like a stone cocoon.

dream 5

I'm bent down in front of Saks Fifth in Orlando, fixing my skates. They're black leather with gold stitching and golden blades. Something like a Steampunk bowling shoe with skate blades on the bottom.

The entire parking lot has a golden glow about it....like eternal dusk. The sodium street lights hum, but it's a melodic hum, like the after-ring of a timpani. Instead of the lot being paved with stone or concrete, it's a single sheet of some deep yellow metal.

I finish tying my skates, grab my shopping bags and skate off towards the hotel. The wind is soft and sweet as it blows past my face and as fast and as hard as I skate, my lungs seem more than capable of drawing whatever breath they need. The burn of my legs is a good burn.

As I realize this, I begin pushing harder and going faster, the beach getting closer and closer. As I reach the top of my speed, I hunker down and launch arms spread and kinda break free of my form into little particles of white and gold light.

It felt so good, like the ultimate release. I woke up with my arms spread out and the sun on my face. And, it's been a pretty good day.

dream 4

So, there I was in a dark alley, running from the cops. I had just sprayed a wall with a piece of art. It was a 12 foot long by 8 foot high font work.

It said simply "The why do you do it?". A phrase I picked up from a Guerrilla Art Site some months ago. It was used by spraying it on sidewalk tiles sporadically through a city to give people some introspection, in a word of seclusion without reason.

As I reached the end of the alley, i realized that I was cornered and had no way out.....but up. I lit off 2 smoke bombs and proceeded to leap from wall to wall to wall back and forth and always up, having the smoke cover my escape and of course add drama to the whole ordeal.

On the final jump, I landed on the rooftop of a bar and continued running across rooftops until I jumped off of one towards a garbage bin. Midfall, I dropped the backpack I had with me that contained all of my gear, but knew none of it had my fingerprints on it. Just to be sure, I ripped off my outfit (black on black cat burglar style) to reveal a respectable mid summer outfit ( of shorts, printed tee and sandals, threw the clothesinto the bag and lit a smoke bomb off in the bag.

Then I sauntered home and watched the sirens go whizzing up and down the street, grabbed a coffee and giggled to myself.

dream 3

So, for some reason, I was diagnosed with something that gave me about 1 month to live. After the depression sunk in, I checked my lottery ticket and realized I won about $4 million. Not exactly an even balance, I know.
I spent the next few weeks in and out of hospital, making phone calls and planning.
The last day of the month, I died. And in accordance with the plans I had made, only the immediate people were informed. My body was then cremated into ash.
One summer night, all of my friends and family to the 'Merb for the final event. The pyrotechnic guys were already set up. As was the huge catering tent and sound system guys.
As the sun set, and the sky reached the perfect darkness, they all went to their blankets spread out across the beach and watched the sky.
"If you're here watching this, I'm no longer with you....though that's not exactly right either..."
It began with a smoke machine creating a wall that projected pictures of me and my friends, and a message telling them how thankful I was for sharing the journey with them, and that instead of mourning me, this was a celebration of my life and my last gift to them.
There was to be no burial, as I was alread cremated. My ashes were put in small satchels and strapped to each piece of firework. I would leave them in a blaze of glory, light, colour and sound. My method of leaving would be something of joy for those around me.
The music began quietly and slowly rose in volume.
I left this world on wings of light and colour, with the 1812 Overture playing. That song has been the closest I have ever found to my appreciation of my friends and those important in my life.
I woke up feeling more alive than ever before....and I couldn't tell you how many times I've listened to the 1812 overture since then.

dream 2

This one really threw me off, though it was short, it was kinda intense.

I was walking on the beach, and my feet started to hurt inside my army boots. Why I was wearing Army boots on a beach, I dunno.... so I went to my bathroom to see what was wrong. Now, keep in mind, MY bathroom was somehow conveniently where you park the cars.

As i took off my shoes, my toes were swollen so much, that the nail was barely visible, and they were super red and sensitive.

I went to step down on the cold tiles to maybe take some of the heat off of them. This is the gross and jarring part. As I put pressure on my feet, they burst open and shot puss out....some of it landing on my face.

Guess who woke up at that point?

That dream was technically yesterday, as I work backshifts on the weekends. But today, after getting home, my feet felt really tight and warm. My big toe is slightly inflammed. Somehow I cut it and it's fighting a small infection.

Wow.......what useless psychic powers.

I'm not a hippie.....but.....

Someone sent this to me, and even though I'm a student of design and will end up in one way or another working for the commercial/consumption industry, I still try to maintain self sustaining practices.


(I tried to upload this video to my but blog, but it's like 50 megs....just go to the site and bask in its glory)

Anyway, watch the video.....you'll understand. It's 20 minutes long. I love the way it was done though. Simple animation.....almost childlike in its presentation. But she doesn't get too scholastic or simple...it's like a nice conversation....that you don't contribute too. The pace is well done and not condescending.

dream 1

I was at work, and for some reason, there was a picnic barbeque in the parking lot. It was a beautiful day, perfect wind, perfect sun....it had just finished raining in the morning...you could smell it.
There were balloons, clowns and ponies. The table had the traditional red gingham table cloth that flipped up in the breeze.There were people of all ages around, some I knew and some I didn't, but I was more than comfortable around them all.

Although the music playing was fine, I decided to slip off to the side and listen to music from my mp3 player. It was something by Beethoven....forget which symphony. As I was eating my hot dog, some relish fell to the ground. As I watched it fall and moved my leg to avoid it, I saw a pair of shoes walk into my field of vision.

I look up and see Ryan Malcolm, Canadian Idol guy( I never watch the show, so I wonder how he got in my dream anyway). He then accuses me of stealing his iPod and that he wanted it back that very second. At this point, I showed him that my mp3 player was a cheap ass Sansa Express......1/10th the price and obviously not his. This is where he turned into an asshole. Pushing and swering and waving his arms like a maniac. Pointing and accusing me of stealing his iPod that wasn't there.

Now, I know he's probably a nice guy. And I'm sure given the chance to meet him, artist to artist, we'd no doubt get along, buy each other drinks. Hell, I'd probably sleep with him push comes to shove. He's not exactly hard on the eyes.

At this point, some men pull up and escort him away. All the while, he continues to shout about me.

I turn my attention back to my hot dog and think to myself " Not only a nice day, but I got to meet a celebrity today...."


Well, I said that I'd end up posting my dreams on this site because I've always enjoyed sharing them. Unlike a lot of people, as I've found out, I have a high level of interaction with my dreams.

For example:
  • I dream in full colour or hypercolourized versions. And if I dream in black and white, it's for a purpose. Colour will still seep in....think Schindler's List cinematics.
  • I can read signs, but book text isn't possible. I never remember my glasses for some reason.
  • I'm able to affect and act.
  • I remember most dreams in vivid detail after I wake up for days as if they actually were a part of my day to day life.
The last one is the only drawback of the list. Since some of my dreams are so vivid and interactive, it can be hard to separate dream and reality at times.

Here's an example. Years ago when I was working in Florida, I entered into a week where I quit smoking by using the patch. This also ended up being one of the busiest weeks. Each night after working a double, I'd go home and go pretty much straight to bed. While I slept, I dreamed I got up, went back to work and worked another double, came home and went back to sleep. This happened for no less than 5 days in a row. One day I looked at one of my co-workers and said "Thank fuck tomorrow is Saturday, it's my only day off". She looked at me and said "Lee, tomorrow is Thursday." I reflected back and was absolutely sure that I had worked more shifts than that.

I wonder what level of sanity I live with...

time and space

I suppose that's really what's going through my head at this time of the day. 3:10am on a Tuesday morning. I'm stuck on these two things.
Recently, I've had one of those major upheavals of my life. Or perhaps a sudden awareness of the chaos and displacement in which I've chosen to live. That I've accepted for myself to live in. That I deserve?
Maybe because I watched a movie recently with a person whom I've had mixed feelings and actions with. I'm sure the last few dating experiences have left me with great questions after great confusion and mixed feelings. Maybe my recap on the sheer spectrum of my google.com searches for answers to questions both mundane and extreme in their topics scared me into this. No doubt my career shift from one of high intensity to the lowest societal impact is a part of this as well. I've certainly been given the gift of time to reflect, review and reconsider a great deal of things.
Time has suddenly become...finite.
And space has become...restrictive.
The two things that my 19 year old self had always seen as limitless and unending, the 31 year old me has suddenly turned my great attention to them both. And I find them to be at the wrong ends of the scale from where they should be in the 'great plan'.
I guess that's why I've decided to start this. Writing has always let me see and process what goes on in my own head. Even though I'll never hold these pages in my hand, there remains a certain tactility of it, if only in the process of writing it.
This is the part where I say 'I feel sleep coming on....I'll write more tomorrow', but really I'm going to look at my ceiling for a while, and tr to work the questions out of my head for the rest of the night. Then hope that I'll dream something and write them here later.
My dreams have always been fun to share anyway.