somewhat back to life

Well, the backshifts are finally finished.......for now.

After 3 weeks of consecutive backshifts, I'm back to work on afternoon shifts.

The change over has been easier than I thought it would be. The trick? After I finished work the other day at 8:30am, I stayed up untill about 7pm and grabbed a quick nap. The got back up around 3am in a small sense of panic thinking I was late for work, then're just a fool. Back to bed and then up this morning at 10:30am. Went and grabbed a coffee and just enjoyed the world around me waking up.

Now, I'm getting ready to walk down to my old site and get my bike that I trashed on my break about a month ago. Driving in the dark, downhill, bad brakes and a pothole that could swallow a raccoon together made a bent wheel and twisted work.
**The image above is NOT my bike, just a stock image I found that looks almost exactly like my back wheel**
The basic plan is to see what it will cost to get it fixed, but if it's going to cost too much, I think I'll just donate the bike to the shop so they can cannibalize it and re-use what they can. They have a program set up where they do this and put together cheap bikes for kids without the means to get their own. They also offer an incentive of in-store credit to all who participate.
To be honest, this is more like what I'm going to end up doing. I have a friend who has a bike he's willing to part with, provided it goes to a good home. It's a mountain bike, but he's looking for a city/street bike. I think this will make a good trade.
Well, I'll let you all know how it all turns out. the only thing I hate about all of this is that since the wheel is SO twisted, I'll have to carry the bike up to the shop through downtown......if you know Halifax at all, it's Canada's equivalent to San Francisco in geography....nothing but 30 degree inclined hills.

just a little energy thing

Found this in one of my news feeds. Thought I'd post this for anyone who was interested in cutting their power bill by even just a little bit.

life and the search of it

So, I have my vacation lined up and ready to go. However, the time I was supposed to have off in the meantime has been....well, denied.

One of the guys I work with is an absolute Star....I mean it, he's top notch. He's my straight boyfriend. He leaves me movies and snacks cause I usually show up early and do little favours for him. He works more than I do and I understand his work/school needs.

Well, I did a few favours for him and he was all lined up to pay me back (such as working a backshift for me for the hours I covered). However, due to fuck ups and people getting sick/on vacation/being weak willed humans, he's not been able to reciprocate or help me out.

This is kinda shitty. It leaves me little time to rest or recreation and my social life has been challenged like never before these last few weeks.

Is it sad that most of my life now revolves around waiting with great anticipation for Law and Order on Bravo?...............

dream 12

Ever have an animated dream? Like, a seriously Stylized and perfectly choreographed, scened and cinematographic masterpiece that just made you 2 inches shy of a wet dream?
Honestly, I don't care if you ever have. Cause I did. And to be honest, with my pagan approach to the spiritual and the divine, and my Mormon upbringing and it's connection to dreams, I have never before felt such a presence of God so strongly. It was like brainstorming with the big guy Himself.
This is a project, a vision, a karma.
Not to mention, absolutely the corniest yet most expressively accurate animation for my life and friends.
Ever heard the song 'Convoy', Paul Brandt's version/cover? Yeah, I know, it's redneck, but redneck has always spoke to reminds me of rural honesty and honour.
The cartoon I dreamed/experienced was me and the College of Monarchs driving trucks to the song. Each Reign had their own vehicle in descending order of lead in the convoy.
I'll post more later, I just had to get this out and posted before I got distracted from it.....I've not felt this intoxication of creativity in so long.

dream 11

Let's just prefix this blog to acknowledge that during this time I have been on Back shift and have had irregular, if any, sleep patterns.

This particular dream came during my esophagus/stomach attack.....and not like some kind of guerrilla warfare attack, more of me mistaking medication and damn near going to the hospital mid-shift to be dealt with. However, I knew they'd just sit me in a corner and tell me to relax and then discharge me....might as well make money at work and do the same thing, right.

I got home from work after walking about 1 1/2 hours. The walk normally takes me TOPS 20 minutes. The pain was unreal, and discomfort wasn't even on the radar anymore.

When I got to sleep, I started to dream almost immediately. I fell into a frothing pile of people....regular normal everyday people. They kept rising and falling like bubbles in a pot of boiling water, but in a much slower fashion.

As I was in that group, they all needed to interact with me.....they all needed to tell me about their day, and what's wrong with he world and why they're upset/happy/concerned/distraught/content/fulfilled.....any variation of human experience.

Just as soon as one would be almost finished of telling me their story, despite the concentration needed to even accomplish such a task, the would move away and be carried away by the still bubbling crowd.

The one thing that i remember from the whole group is the absence of colour. There were no shocks, highlights and really any dark tones to note. Everyone seemed to be wearing variations the same colours. White, black, tan and neutral beige. Everyone had variations of brown hair. All skin tones were within a small range, but all races were there.

It was very disturbing. As each person was pushed away, so was I, and then pushed into a new group of people and new stories/complaints. Throughout the night I was woken up countless times writhing in pain and discomfort.

When I woke up the next night for work, I was exhausted. This dream was the first time in a long time to actually continue for 4 nights in a row. It's been no less than 10 years since the last time I've experienced anything like this.

wow....time away

So, I've spent the last 2 bloody weeks working at Purdy's Wharf on backshift with no laptop to keep updated on this blog. Also, I've been sick and damn near dead, so I'm allowed some variance on attendance I think.
2 weeks of backshift should be punishment for murder I think. The social stigma (My god, you must be tired) gets to you after a while. I work different hours than clock is on the opposite side of yours.....yes, if I had your clock, I'd be fucking tired...but after say DAY 2, I adjusted because I am competent and capable of such changes.
The real problem with backshift for so long is that it puts you so far away from the rest of the world. Really, it does. I see my friends on the way to work at the pub....they're half in the bag and not at the level I can talk to.....barring me finding a designated driver that is. These shifts have stolen me from my social circles, my life and in some way from the summer due to the fact that my own rhythm requires me to sleep longer to stay awake for these shifts.
Regardless, they're all over now and I'm off for the next 2 days.....well, then back for a few more backshifts....then vacation with any luck...HA HA FUCKING HA!
Just so anyone who reads this knows........regardless of my schedule for work, I'm taking it.....
And why? Because I've reached a point of breaking that Minimum Wage was never allowed to make me do.....Expect new life after these posts my friends.....or whoever actually even reads this besides me....

dream 10

Gas masks, purple mist, brown adobe buildings in Edwardian architecture crumbling around me.

Some got under my mask and it smelled sweet and the smell of bark and rotting birch on a wet day. Then it stung and I felt my lips go numb. I couldn't talk.

Orange sky filled with planes and smoke.

I could hear screams, but didn't see anyone around me.

I jumped into a shelter, closed the door and sat in the dark still wearing my mask.

dream 10

Heaven, parking lot of Highland Square Mall, homeless vietnam vets

dream 9

I was playing hockey with 3 friends at the old rink back home in New Glasgow.

I never got to see their faces, but I knew that I could trust them.

After the game, we all went our seperate ways. I was going for coffee, so I opened the door to the parking lot and stepped out onto Spring Garden Road in Halifax.

Grabbed a coffee from a coffee shop that was doen over in Geiger's Style. The cappucino machine looked like some kind of spine-meets-italian plumbing get up done in silver with open flame lighting all over the place.

For some reason I was in a rush to get somewhere. But not one of those "Shit I'm gonna be late!" kinda rushes. More like "Running on schedule, keep the energy going kiddo" kinda rush.

I jet across the street to my meeting.....and that's about the end of it.